I have been contemplating whether or not to post the "latest" with my family, but I started this blog to share my thoughts so here goes- it's a long one.
My dad is getting married again. He has met someone at his church whom he says is nice and loves the Lord. They have known each other for less than a month,and want to get married right away. My immediate reaction was shock and disbelief. I got very upset, not only because of the news, but because my dad delivered it by email. This brought up old feelings and emotions that I thought I had under control. I also felt what I can only describe as a sense of betrayal of my mom. (I'm not sure if that makes sense)
It has been a week since my brother and I found out. Since then, I have gone through every emotion you can imagine from anger to fear and sorrow. I moved into a kind of "parent mode" -wanting to protect my dad from getting hurt, and from making the wrong decision. Dad and Reuben came this weekend to celebrate my birthday. We had a long talk about things and Reuben and I shared our hearts. While dad didn't understand our concerns, he at least listened to us and I hope we gave him some things to think about. We feel he is rushing things, and would like him to wait at least 6 months to get to know her. He doesn't feel he can do that (for other reasons) and is sure the Lord brought her into his life for a reason- he believes she is part of the vision God gave him for the property in N.C.(that's a whole other story). In fact, he prayed for a wife. He is confident this is his answer to prayer.
So here I am a week later. I know two things: 1. God is in control and 2. my dad can make his own decisions. At first, I prayed that God would open dad's eyes and change this decision, but then I realized (how selfish!) I should be praying that God's will be done and that we all have peace about whatever happens. Who am I to say that this isn't someone God put in my dad's life? I actually feel more settled within my soul, because I know that God knows what He's doing. He's walked through the last year with us, and He will continue to do so. I can only trust in Him...
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5 comments:
Becca, You are in my prayers. I cannot imagine what you are feeling, but I know the LORD is in control. He is faithful and He has proved that to you over and over. I will continue to pray for you and your family, and also for your relationship with his future wife! Much love!
Becca,
Just wanted to let you know that I've been praying for you over the last few days. I wasn't sure why but you'd been on my heart. I was going to leave you a message on myspace, then decided to check your blog instead. Now I know why you've been on my heart!
I'm thinking about you and praying for all of you.
love,
Sara
Becca-I can't put myself in your place, but I think you're doing the right thing by letting God take control. I know that's a really difficult thing to do, and you're entitled to your feelings & emotions, so it's good to hear the maturity shown in letting God have the situation. Whoa, that was a run-on, but I hope it made sense. ~Andrea
Your feelings are completely valid, and it sounds good that you at least expressed them to your dad so he can try to understand. Your dad has been through a lot in a year, and I am sure he is desperate to feel some happiness. Whatever happens I know in the end it will be God's plan.
I am thinking about you!!!!
Wow! I can only imagine what you are going through and the range of emotions is certainly understandable and justified. You are wise to leave the situation in God's hands. He is in control and will work it out for His good!
I will continue to pray for you and I will stand with you as you pray for peace in whatever happens.
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